Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
