i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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