well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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