First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
