Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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