i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
