he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
