I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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