How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
