is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
