So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
