I just made out with a guy for $7.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Randomize