My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
