Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
