A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize