GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize