The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
