She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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