So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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