no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
