YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
