beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
