Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
