I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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