What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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