you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
