If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
