i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
