My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
