why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
