Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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