You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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