I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize