Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
