No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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