I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
