i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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