I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
