actually, I'm a sock model
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
