I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
