when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
