'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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