he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
