You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
