is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
