WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
