The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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