it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
