So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
zippers are such a cool invention
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
