we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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