i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
