you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
