THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
