There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize